I want to go to America! Just not today, neither tomorrow. But back in 1940. Betty Friedan! I want to meet her. She is the one who has been talking on...
I want to go to America!
Just not today, neither tomorrow. But back in 1940.
Betty Friedan! I want to meet her.
She is the one who has been talking on behalf of women for a long time.
She is the one who exposed emotions, fears, and questions when she wrote on behalf of women who suffer from the wifehood syndrome; “IS THIS ALL?”
She is the one who talked about the problem that has no name. And the real problem now is that up till now, it is still a problem with no name.
Betty Friedan: The problem that has no name is still a problem with no name.
Every time a housewife says “I feel empty;” “I feel incomplete;” “I feel as if I don’t exist;” “I have a tired feeling;” She has to know that she is suffering from the problem that has no name. She has an identity crisis because she is unable to define herself in terms of her own self not in terms of her husband.
But there is a question of greater significance; are the housewives really desperate?
The Feminine Mystique says it all: “The housewives who suffer the terror of the problem that has no name are victims of this deadly dailyness. As one of them told me: “I can take the real problem; it’s the endless boring days that make me desperate.”
The housewives are bored! The housewives are desperate.
Betty Friedan exposed the problems of many housewives throughout her book. She interviewed many women to better highlight this problem.
One of the housewives said: “I ask myself why I’m so dissatisfied. I’ve got my health, fine children, a lovely new home, enough money. My husband has a real future.”
Another housewife said: “The problem is always being the children’s mommy, or the minister’s wife, and never being myself.”
You got it? Are you aware of the problem now?
You might be enjoying your marriage life; you might be happy about being a wife, being the lady who gets her hair done, goes for some shopping, goes for a coffee with the housewives crew then comes back home and waits for her husband desperately to come along and give her some esteem boost. But what if you are enjoying this because that’s the only available option. What if you are enjoying this because you’ve found out that settling down is comfortable? Because you don’t want to make an effort to know what is there in other parts of your life.
I personally don’t like it when women settle down for the one and only option. Settling down kills opportunities, and satisfaction kills motives. You have no idea how enjoyable it would be to exercise your full potential out the wifehood sphere.
There will always be a missing element in a woman’s life if she chooses to live through her husband. Friedan emphasizes the issue saying: “Despite the glorification of “Occupation: Housewife,” if that occupation doesn’t demand, or permit, realization of woman’s full abilities; it cannot provide adequate self esteem, much less pave the way to a higher level of self realization.”
This is a call for women whose highest ambition is a ring on the left hand, a beautiful house, and children. It is a call for women whose only concern is to get and keep a man, because, you know, this way life is much easier! You have someone to make the major decisions for you!
Marriage is not the answer. Please!
This is a call on premature marriage. The marriage that keeps you from knowing yourself as a woman with potential, a woman who has a personal purpose of existence that is stretched into her future. The marriage that blocks your growth as an individual to give you eventually a sense of dissatisfaction. The marriage that haunts the little girl’s dreams when she was asked at school: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
I am not anti marriage. Marriage is a law of nature. But I am against the idea of getting married because it is the only opened channel, or because it is the easiest exit.
And if you think that marriage would answer the question of your own existence, I will tell you again; Marriage is not the answer.
Because women are not encouraged to use their full potential, I will tell you;
Be whatever you want to be
Know your worth
Break the rules
Rise, Shine, Grind
Learn, Develop, Discover
Find the element not the one
Find the rhythm not the guy
Discover all that is in you
Walk the extra mile
Have a burning desire for achievement
Be a fire in the face of the world
You are capable beyond expectations, you are powerful beyond reason.